soo today i woke up and found a bump behind my ear . sooo my mother dragged me to the doctor they ran some tests and asked me some questions . so then they sent me to the hospital adn then they ran more tests . they think i might have leukemia . :/ i dont get my resualts till next week . well , while i was there they had to take my weight . which came out to be 119 . wayy to much . so i have decided not to eat anything till i get to 106 . i have struggled with bulimia in the past ; it came along with the depression . i so don’t want to go through that again . i am now generally a really happy person . i want to live life happy ; and make sure my life is worth one living . i am 15 . i have done more , seen more , and been through more than most people do in their live’s . i have had someone die in my arms , but i ahve also saved a life ( & 1/2 , she was 4 months prego ) . well that’s enough for today , duces .

so . me and my grandmother dont exactly get along .she made me walk 2 miles to her house to open a jar of peanutbutter . when i asked her for a ride home she then hit me with her purse and called  me a lazy good for nothing teenager . i was so feeling the love <3 (:  when i told my mothe what happend she laughed and said “well you know the way your granmother is” i then said “yeah and it sucks turtle balls .” then my own mother hit me with her purse which feels like it is filled with bricks . i hope i dont turn out like my mother and grandmother . that would be tragic . incase if i do , this is an apollogy to my future children and grandchildren . i beg if i dont , you must break the cycle . DONT BEAT YOU CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN WITH BRICK PURSES ! that experience is rather painful and isn’t however something i do enjoy . see that is the only way my mother and grandmothe express their love for me . well i call it love ; they say they strongly dislike me . this is america. i can think what i want . GO AMERICA , SALUTE THE RED WHIT AND BLUE <3 well . i am on facebook and myspace talking to people . soo . im gonna go :)